Chilangish

I’ve yet to hit double-digits in my lifetime count of unwanted groping, but it’s getting close.

First, an apology. Turns out regardless of the country a job’s a job’s a job, and at my current gig I’ve been putting in about 60 hours a week. With commute added on, I’ve barely had time to cook, exercise, let alone blog.

But finally I’ve sacrificed some money for sanity and dropped something from my contract, so hopefully I will get chilangish into full swing again.

What better way to get things started than talking about ass (and crotch, and boob) grabs?

Unwanted grabs, of course.

Let’s look at the numbers of my lifetime grabs per country:

Canada – two butt grabs
Jordan – one butt, one boob grab
Guatemala – one butt grab
Mexico – one butt, one crotch and one boob grab

So my lifetime total is now up to eight.

Average age of grabber: about 16.

Let me be clear: I am quite a conservative dresser. The picture at the less shows me at my most “provocative” – an outfit I wore specifically as part of Slutwalk. My general fashion philosophy is that women look better more covered up, leaving some things to the imagination.

Not, of course, that choosing to reveal some skin is an invitation to unwanted touching. I’m just saying that I am, in particular, a bit of a prudish dresser.

Anyways, as the numbers above show, ass, boob and crotch grabbing is not a phenomenon limited to Mexico. There are, unfortunately, sad teenage boys (and grown men) who get their thrills in pathetic ways in every country. Last night, however, hitting #8, was especially strange.

It was karaoke night, and I was just taking the stage for my regular “Fat Bottom Girls.”

A drunk (grown) man takes the stage, tries to sing into the microphone and when I shoo him away grabs me in a big hug, copping some side-boob action.

I push him away, and since no damage was really done I continue to sing. However, to teach the dude a lesson, afterward I request to the bartender to kick the guy out.

He receives a stern talking to, but is not kicked out (another can of worms.) But what he does do is approach my boyfriend several times to apologize – not to me, but to my significant other! My boyfriend suggests several times that the guy apologizes to me, but the man insists he just needs to apologize to my boyfriend.

Strange, no? What’s the deal with this? Do my assets belong to my boyfriend, therefore any apologies must be directed through my man?

Caitlin Evans

Caitlin Evans is a middle and high school teacher who has been living in Mexico City for over a year. With man and a mangy dog from the city, she won't be leaving anytime soon.

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